How to be a Man?
What do you think to be called as a man?. Is it because you have grown a mustache? Or is it because of you beat someone in your college? Or is it because you are into many relationships with girlfriends? We need to discuss how to be a man.
What makes you a man?
Have you ever think of this any time? If you do, what are your defending terms to say that you are a man? Is it because of your muscles? Or the gym you go? What is it???
Well, I should ask this question myself, being a guy. And I know what it feels like when somebody questions for our strength because I am there too, I took deeper studies to know what a manly thing is about and I also kept my focus on those forces which are the major drawbacks in a boy’s life from being a real man. And there are also the willpower struggles and inner battles to overcome and become the man, it requires to set up the barriers.
Let us discuss deeply here, I am talking about the various addictive things and which will distract the person to break from the reality and seize the victories away from him, and these addictions include smoking, alcohol and porn.
Let’s take the third thing called porn addiction this is easy to fall for every bachelor because it is natural to get attracted to the opposite gender when he/she reaches a certain age. It’s a natural phenomena and the central thing in nature, but when this attraction turns into the wild thoughts and fantasies, it will become hard to handle for a human as he will include fighting against his own inner thoughts, we can call these as emotions.
Lack of concentration and reluctance to do any task and uneasiness increases.
The attraction increases and it goes on developing the act of masturbation, which is a sexual gratification. A self-soothing behavior, a suicidal move and a habit which is the reason to feel guilty when it is done in the dark.
You may wonder why would I pick this particular topic to write about, this is because I have seen many from my students and my friends, last but not the least, me too.
I know, out there many boys, who are suffering from this guiltiness because there question on this is whether this masturbation is a sin or not speaking in religious point of view, and there are many explanations to support this masturbation thing. But, there’s no such crucial evidence to prove this activity as wrong.
There involves no second person in doing this, hence the majority of people who masturbates thinks that there is no harm caused by doing so and it is only a self-satisfaction.
It is done as a substitute to the going to the brothels and paying. This is a satisfaction without a penny lost.
And so on…
But, still why some people seek the help to get out of this habit and break it? Because its a 50-50 type of sin. Half of the population think it’s safe and good, half think it’s not, whatever it is here I am with the thing to help us all and those who just want to get rid of this.
I can say that people who think this is a sin will get frustrated when they seek help from God. They plead to God to take away these desires and when it doesn’t, the process continues and they easily escape from the reality and they undergo a lot of stress with this temporary relief. Even we know that God has created us to experience sexual oriented fulfillment on much higher level within the context of marriage, but these drives of attractions will not let us wait. And to those who feel that God isn’t helping must realize that they must be with a strong determination to get out of this thought because we know that ‘first a thought, then an act’.
Then I say it is not easy to fight with our inner one which is a lust wanderer, a single movie poster can draw your attention and make you wild. You may not watch porn or any nudity but even those pictures are enough to drag you towards the action.
So the best thing to do is __to avoid people, situations, pictures or magazines and any materials that might create a sexual excitement. And these can be noted down as the times of struggle and we must refine our approach as long as we stay away from the thing.
There are different cases for different people who are encouraged to do masturbate, some cases are as follows…
- When a person feels alone and stressed he finds a way out of it by relieving that stress by this act.
- At late nights the fantasies about that girl, you saw today will take the form of pleasure in bed when you dream. (Note here one point that youngsters will have ‘wet dreams’ and there is no mistake in it because it happens in an Auto bot manner, this is just like the metabolism and you don’t need to worry or feel guilty about these. when the level of sperms increases in a week there is a need to expel them out. And this ‘wet’ thing is good one).
- While they are tensed and feel lost they approach this pleasurable deed.
There are many ways in the world which are our choices to make when a situation pressure us to make one, this must be a wise thing to think before choosing a way here. So be wise before you go up with a cause.
Remember one thing here Only God can fill the empty spaces in our hearts in a deep, lasting and satisfying way. If we try to fill this so-called space with temporary pleasures, then we destroy our lives with our own hands and there is a danger of carrying this habit into a married life which is poisonous to the relationship.
Don’t Google your problem and get dismayed, know yourself and know those feelings which are leading up to the act and ending up there. Because nobody knows you better than yourself. Just think one thing, for years and decades we are in this sin WHY NOT GO AFTER HOLINESS NOW???
Know this, the demon (habit) which is inside you is with you for years and years (maybe since your childhood) and it won’t leave you that easy because you are its host and it is not the others but you only gave it a place to dwell in you. Now you are just saying ‘go away’ to that demon in such a low investment of effort. Think and think and think more! Is it enough to cast that demon away, is that power can stand before the experience of that demon? No right? So do it, do work hard, do exercises, take steps in such a way that it will drive away the habit.
This is not any religious post, I am talking about the habits which are killing our personalities since years.
And one more thing to notice is you are trying to fill some enjoyment and some relief from the pain by doing this masturbation but you know what? You are summing your worries by doing so, that is not a long-lasting satisfaction you got there and after the minutes you will be adding a plus to your stress list.
What can we do then?
Past is past, never let it interfere in the present. Its hard to erase it completely in one night but strong determination will do the job done and easy for us.
Fight the act and then we can fight the scene
Fight it with all the strategy and the weapons and the equipment you have. Never give up, take the steps and pursuit them. Give a fresh start every time you fall down in a try, get up take a shower and think it as a new beginning and let’s kick this demon out from the reality and stay calm and peaceful in the gift life.
Who is this ‘thing’ to ruin our golden life? It’s not an immovable mountain. Let’s do this…