When a person commits a mistake, it is not the person actually who alone involved in committing that mistake, but the people who are around him were also equally responsible for that mistake. My this statement can be considered true and I will make you agree with me as well. I am going to discuss the few reasons why the youngsters in India are not able to do what they are willing to do and why they are attracted towards the bad so easily.
This is going to be a long post as I request you to bare me for at least five minutes. This is a thought-provoking post with an idea to bring the change among us for a better country, which will assist us all to see the future as the scholars used to see. I am not promising anything in this post since I can only tell you the reasons and the solutions for a particular problem, but it is a useless thing until someone applies it in their lives and practices it without fail.
Reasons for various crimes that are happening in this world seems to be so cruel and harsh. And they are done with ease in a blink of an eye and sometimes it is so hard to accept the truth that the crime was committed by some young boy who is a teenager. And when we try to analyze what made this teenager commit such a big crime goes missing in our brains, because it is not something up to his age, it is not that the young blood which flows inside him with high speed, but the surroundings and the situations in which he is dwelling will become the major culprits. What aroused that beast within him is a trigger, and we all do have that same second person who is living with us. But, we are in our senses and that sense will make us stop being unleashed the second person who is the bad of the worst within us.
What can we do???
Well, this question is not my own, we all have the same question making rounds in our minds, but this time I made it to here to take some necessary action with this post. I am not any mentalist or an expert, but I know the values to live in the society and I also gained the knowledge through various resources which are available on the Internet and through many books.
What makes a person bad is something that which will turn all the other persons into bad too, we all have our reasons to be good and to be bad, we are living in a world where nobody can monitor what is going on in our mind. You can plan evil against your people and backstab them without being noticed because nobody on this earth is capable to read your mind. And this will bring me to another debatable word, choice. We all have our own choices, we can choose how we would like to behave with the other people, but the choices we make will have some consequences which we have to deal with later on. Now let us see, what is corrupting the young brains and what we can do about it.
1. Lack of caring in childhood:
Childhood is like something where a person’s character is built, it is the rock basement for his future and it decides what’s his/her life is going to be. We all have our childhood, we learnt so many lessons in our childhood which are made us what we are today.
So, this proves that childhood is the only period where we can inject either good or bad into a child’s mind. And it is the only phase where parenting values are kept to test. The major thing in childhood is, you can punish the child in this age and make him/her realise that a certain deed is wrong or right. They are not aware of the good or bad and they can’t take decisions on their own.
Now – a – days, we are seeing the busiest parenting in this world, earning with both hands by husband and wife has become a common thing to meet the luxuries, otherwise, it became so hard to afford a television connection too. Well, this is being a much and necessary thing, but parenting without being busy or with being busy must be the same. If you are not able to spend the ample amount of time with your children then you are making them the future destroyers.
Caring is not called a caring if you bother about what your child is eating or dressing, it is not about how good looking he or she is. Caring is about the mental health of your child and the stability rate he/she has during the problem period. We see the busy parents running on their wheels and handing their children to the caretakers, this is the major mistake and may impact the little brains with a pain. They will start feeling alone and that loneliness will turn them into a bad person in future with a bad habit.
2. Listening to them patiently:
Some parents never let their children speak, in the same way, they won’t listen to them too. This makes the child think all by himself when coming to the listening part, you should listen to your child what they are sharing with you, no matter how silly that point can be, it will help you in analyzing the mental status of your kid and how his thoughts are like. This will help you to deal with the issues your kids are facing.
Having some patience and paying attention to your children will never make you run out of time, perhaps it will make you a good parent and turn your child into a successful dream achiever.
3. Monitoring:
Most of the parenting fails to keep up with this concept, monitoring your child doesn’t mean to keep them arrested in a room. It is like a house arrest and that is going to turn your child into a rebel. Monitoring your children well being by not disturbing their privacy is highly suggested. I know a friend, whose parents lock him down when they go out, they didn’t want him to play with us, they cannot monitor him if he is out of the house, so they came up with this plan. And the young kid found an alternative way to escape this jailing, he used to jump out of the windows or break open the locks and then joins us at the playground. This is a kind of rebellious thing that triggered his brain to escape from the home. So, we should be very attentive about what we are applying to the kids. That application may turn them into a beast which cannot be controlled later by anyone else.
How you can monitor your children is, to make them explain everything to you, all by themselves. And this can only be seen if you follow the above two points strictly and developing a friendly relationship with your children.
Sometimes, parents will keep their children aside and they ignore them for what they are suggesting, but we need to understand that, if it is a good thing then we need to learn it from the kids too, and if it is a bad thing, we must reject it even if it is told by some elderly person. Listening to your kid and thinking about his ideas will help you more in parenting and make you a successful parent. This will probably prevent the cases which are death by many psychiatrists out there, parents will belive that psychiatry will somehow help their children in bringing out of their problems, but the first psychiatrist is the parent himself. It all depends upon how you treat and how you accept the thoughts of your children.
4. Freedom with guidance:
Young kids don’t have a matured brain, and living them freely to the society will make the things worst. Freedom cannot be stolen, and it must be a basic right of every human. Freedom to the children means more responsibility to the parents. In that freedom, there must be good guidance that must lead them. Without being a guide if you let your child freely to society, then the bad will attract him/her the most than good. Because bad always and always looks so pleasing and attractive to the kids. And all your pieces of training will be disappeared from their minds if they are not under the guidance.
Parents should learn all the effective ways to guide their children on the right path. And parents should also let their children free and allow them to make their own decisions under good guidance.
5. Sharing your financial status with your children is necessary:
Most of the parents will think in a way that their efforts must be hidden from their children and all the hard work they are doing must be hidden from the child. This is extremely wrong because you should share with your child your efforts and financial status. Otherwise, your child may think like he/she is a billionaire and act like being the one. This will break their heart once your financial status is revealed to them. Always prepare the kids mentally to face any kind of struggles in life, keeping them unaware of the situations will make things more worst, but not the better.
For example, if a father is working all the nights by driving an autorickshaw to meet the expenditure of the school fee of a child, his child has the right to know how hard his father is working for his studies. This will cause temporary pain in the kid’s heart, but later it will enlighten him to study hard by not diverting himself from the responsibilities he has. Good parenting will reveal all the things about the family to their children. This will make them prepared to face the worst situations in life. You are making your child more strong by sharing real-life problems.
6. Do not consider the age of a child when he/she starts advising you:
Suppose you are in a huge problem and discussing with your family, suddenly your kid comes closer to you and start shouting loud by saying meaningless things and pretending that he can solve the problem all on his own, then don’t just panic him with your words, let the kid speak as much as he can, might be he is more capable in problem-solving in that particular field than you, that depends upon the IQ. If his IQ is more than you in that matter, then your problem is solved.
Let the children speak directly in front of you, they must not feel shy or scared to come up to you with their ideas. If you make them scared with your words, they will never share their ideas with you and you are making a future success into an unsuccessful person. Age is a measure of physical growth and it has nothing to do with the mental ability.
7. Help your kids to choose friends wisely:
School is the place where children are going to spend half of their childhood. And when coming to the schooling thing, there are many things which will occur at a school level. It is not only the place for the academics but also a place for moral values and discipline. A kid without discipline and with A grade marks is not the successful guy. Discipline comes first and it has to be taught at the schools after the parents.
We can say that, where the parents’ job to teach their kids ends, teachers job will begin from there and the rest of the career of a student will lie in the teacher’s hands.
We will talk in this same post about the teaching values, later on, now let us focus on our friends. Friends are the kiddos who are with us and developing friends everywhere will depict our social strength. And most of the children are ready to mould themselves with their co-readers, but few children are reluctant to mingle with others, even they are of the same age, they tend to spend the time all alone and away from the group.
This thing is anti-social, with my personal experience, I had learnt that man is a social animal. When I was at school, I pretended like I am all alone. I was the class topper and every time I ranked No. 1. While my friends enjoyed playing games and actively participated in other activities, I stood away from them.
This thing hurts me, I later developed the inferiority complex, social anxiety and many more other issues related to social life. Even I performed too bad in situations where I can give the best. Due to stage fright, I have to suffer from the pain that I cannot showcase my talent to the people.
All these have been identified all by myself, and I was a kind of good kid, so I learnt from my own mistakes and with the assistance of parents, I did a great job. But, the impact of childhood is still on me. To prevent this all, we need to train the kids to choose the friends wisely. And there are no good or bad friends, it is all about the way of thinking and the choices we make. If we assist the kids on which path they should walk with a crystal clear explanation, then they are ready to do it.
8. The role of a teacher:
Like I said earlier, the role of a teacher appears to be the most crucial in developing the kid’s mental ability and social values. In the past, we used to have teachers who will do their homework by preparing a day before on how to teach the lesson effectively to the children. And that groundwork has made the children understand the lesson very clearly. And the teachers used to keep all the students in their mind, for example, not all kids are as fast as the class topper to catch the sentence, so they patiently write everything on the blackboard to convey the lesson to the students.
Role of a teacher is most important during the child’s growth, teachers can make the students sharp in terms of education and mental strength can also be increased with their help.
Unfortunately, commercialism has crept everywhere, now there are only a few responsible teachers we can count them on fingers who will strive for the welfare of their students. The rest are all just professionals who work to make their life better.
The education system in India needs to change too, in these days the student’s capability is only measured through the marks/grades they secure and they highlight only those students who are doing well in remembering the answers as it is in the textbook. The innovative ways of answering had died ages before. And there are also no qualified teachers working in many schools, due to corruption and various other factors in the government, many unfit candidates are working as teachers in most of the Indian schools. This is a sad thing to know since the role of a teacher is most important in designing the career of a child if the teaching field is corrupted by the politics and other anti-social factors, we are not going to see a successful India soon.
We need those same responsible and eligible teachers who will make the students more sharp in studies and teach them all the moral values which will help them to have a good life in future. Let us hope for such a teaching field and community soon.
9. The education system needs a huge shakeup:
The present Indian education system is not at all suitable for a child to become more successful. There are many loopholes in the education system and all those have to be filled soon to prevent many persons who are suffering from unemployment right after their degree.
The present education system concentrates only on the theoretical part and it completely ignores the practical knowledge. And as long as you read something, you need to apply it in our lives, and if we find no reason or no source to apply what we learnt, then that learning is a complete waste of time. A student must have practical knowledge as well as book knowledge, the theory concept all alone cannot make the subject clear to anyone.
Hence, I hope the education system will have a shakeup soon. And it is highly recommended, the perspective of viewing the talent with the paper certificates is not going to let the country to choose the wise.
10. Change is needed:
We cannot change someone just like that, we cannot even change ourselves too. Change is a long going process which involves a step by step process. The way of parenting and the way of teaching needs to change in our country. We are experiencing many unnatural things which are done by young people, all this is a pure failure of parenting and education.
Rapes, murders and all other illegal activities are increased on the scale and all these are done by the youth. Addictions to alcohol consumption, smoking and drugs are taking the golden life away from many teenagers. This is not their failure, they need a perfect teacher and a guide to keep them right back on the track. My question is will you be the one?
Image credits: Cover Image or featured image: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Image 1: Freedom – Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash
Image 2: The role of a teacher – Photo by Product School on Unsplash
